Pieces of Memory (Daiki)

[RYUU KUSANAGI]

Ryuu glanced over at the large and empty house. Its been not long since he and Daiki got out of that place. That Hell hole that their parents sold them off to. It was something that he could not swallow. Every time he thought about his father it hurt. It hurt to think that the one person who was supposed to take care of you just gave up and left him there to fend off for himself.

He looked up at the empty celling and wondered if he should even be here. If he should be alive. After all he was a complete failure. He yet somehow he was here, alive in this empty house with Daiki. He looked over his homework, he didn't feel like it. It was something that he just... felt it was unnecessary. "Why?"

He hugged his knees and just closed his eyes. He wanted Daiki to be there. He wanted to feel normal. He felt pathetic for being alive without reason. So he started to hum a soft lullaby to keep him from cracking, from breaking even further.

[DAIKI KUSANAGI]

[atrb=width,500px,true][atrb=border,0,false][STYLE=border: solid 1px #000; background-color: #ccc;][classy=trololol][/classy][classy=gopercygo][/classy][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #333; margin-top: 5px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]i feel it deep[/style][STYLE=font-size: 9px; font-family: couriernew; color:#333; float: left; margin-left: 7px; margin-top: -7px; width: 140px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 2px;]it's just beneath the skin i must confess i feel like a monster i hate what i've become the nightmare's just begun[/style][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #ff0000; margin-top: -10px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]within[/style][STYLE=margin-top: 50px; width:450; height: 150px; background-color: #999; margin-left: 20px; margin-bottom: 5px; overflow: auto;][STYLE=padding: 3px 3px; font-size: 13px; color: #333; text-align: justify;]Work exhausted the young male again but someone had to do it. He wanted Ryuu to focus on his homework and graduate. Even if Daiki didn't do it at least one of them could. Sacrifices had to be made so they could live a decent life. He winced the pain in his arm shattered his focus. 'Ryuu better be home..' On another note he knew if he had to go find him then he would. Nothing could keep him from doing things like that for his only brother. The two boys had always tried to seek out acceptance after escaping from that place. Quickly he walked out the door of his work clutching a bag under his right arm. One book bag then a few other bags with food for dinner. It would be too late to cook and he still had homework. No doubt by now Ryuu was probably starving. Sometimes it seemed so hard for him to keep up with taking care of his older brother. But he had made a promise to do the best he could after they were left behind. Refusing to let his exhaustion take over he slipped his hand into his pocket to find his key. "Where is it don't tell me I left it." A small sigh escaped his lips as he opened the door stepping into the almost empty house. To think a place that could have been filled with so much life felt so empty. But Daiki wouldn't speak of that he didn't wish to make Ryuu feel bad. He already did enough because how hard Daiki worked to support the two of them. "Ryuu I'm home!" The silence in the house it felt so awkward but he figured Ryuu either fell asleep. Or was really focused on his homework. Setting the bags down on the counter he slipped his shoes off. 'Why does it feel...awkward.' Daiki couldn't shake that feeling away for some reason. It felt as if he was going to only get into trouble all over again. Find things he was not supposed to. "R..Ryuu...where are you?" Soft sounds could be heard as he walked, it scared him and made him wonder. Was there a ghost in here? Or did someone break into the house. Fear always appeared in his mind every single time someone knocked on the door. Or appeared wherever they were on a daily basis. Paying attention to his surroundings trying not to stress over Ryuu. If he got hurt then the male would really have no idea what to do. When he found Ryuu he only blinked at the male. It looked as if something was wrong. "Ryuu you okay...?" The humming he should have seen the signs before he walked into the room. He did know Ryuu enough to see when something was wrong. How much longer could they hold out? With it just being the two of them before Ryuu broke. Or someone from the past found the two boys. He didn't want to go back and he refused to let them take Ryuu back there.[/style][/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: newtimesroman; letter-spacing: 5px; margin-top: -2px;]template by fetch of btn[/style]

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[RYUU KUSANAGI]

Ryuu didn't hear when Daiki came home. he was only trying to fix his own mind so that, at the very least, Daiki wouldn't worry. Yet in his mind memories from that place came and went like an old movie.Each and every memory of the people he killed. It was all just too much for him.

He wanted to stay strong for Daiki, the other boy had enough on his mind for Ryuu to go and add more to it. But it was so hard to keep up that smile, that laugh, thing that he know are not true. He had to try, but even with all that training and breaking it wasn't enough for him. He body felt so heavy.

The lullaby... a thing that his father hummed. It was breaking his heart and keeping it together. Ryuu wasn't sure which was it. But he knew that it was something that he have to keep singing or he will lose it and be no better than a doll.

He didn't hear Daiki when he spoke, only as the lullaby ended he spoke once again. "Is it fair that I am alive after all that I did?"

[DAIKI KUSANAGI]

[atrb=width,500px,true][atrb=border,0,false][STYLE=border: solid 1px #000; background-color: #ccc;][classy=trololol][/classy][classy=gopercygo][/classy][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #333; margin-top: 5px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]i feel it deep[/style][STYLE=font-size: 9px; font-family: couriernew; color:#333; float: left; margin-left: 7px; margin-top: -7px; width: 140px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 2px;]it's just beneath the skin i must confess i feel like a monster i hate what i've become the nightmare's just begun[/style][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #ff0000; margin-top: -10px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]within[/style][STYLE=margin-top: 50px; width:450; height: 150px; background-color: #999; margin-left: 20px; margin-bottom: 5px; overflow: auto;][STYLE=padding: 3px 3px; font-size: 13px; color: #333; text-align: justify;]The house scared him when it was like this. All he could do would be try to keep on walking forward. It had always been how they lived these days since escaping the clutches of those people. No matter how many times Ryuu told him not to worry it still happened. Before he had no ability to help his brother but he would make it up to the male now. If it even meant anything at all. The scars his brother kept hidden at school always surfaced at home. He had become used to the attacks and trying to calm him before it got worse. Approaching his brother he could feel the floor shaking underneath him. No it wasn't the floor it was Daiki's legs shaking out of fear. His brother could hurt himself or anyone when he went that way. Ryuu already had enough issues without falling back into the old life. Escaping from it had been hard enough for both boys. It could be said they tried to adjust and it hadn't worked like it should have at this point. The worry remained on his face again as he looked at his older brother. Why did that have to happen to him? Daiki never showed his emotions when he was around his brother. Saving it for when he was alone had always been the best thing. "You know it wasn't your fault. Ryuu..you are alive for a reason. What you did is the past please..just relax." He stepped closer reaching out to touch his brother. Trying to calm him down was not the hardest thing they had to deal with. Dinner, cleaning and everything else was so far from his mind. Only Ryuu mattered as far as he was concerned. Daiki would have killed Ryuu..no he wouldn't. He couldn't even continue that thought before it tugged at his heart. His brother had helped take care of him and keep him from harm. Now it was his turn to return the favor. Keeping him safe and far away from those people was the only thing he wanted to do. A defensive little child that wouldn't let anyone get close to Ryuu again.[/style][/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: newtimesroman; letter-spacing: 5px; margin-top: -2px;]template by fetch of btn[/style]

[newclass=trololol]height: 100px; width: 100px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; -moz-border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; background-image: url(http://s5.tinypic.com/4to781_th.jpg); margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; border: solid 3px #333; float: left;[/newclass][newclass=gopercygo]height: 100px; width: 100px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; -moz-border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; background-image: url(http://s5.tinypic.com/4to781_th.jpg); margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; border: solid 3px #333; float: left;[/newclass]

[RYUU KUSANAGI]

"You know it wasn't your fault. Ryuu..you are alive for a reason. What you did is the past please..just relax."

"Tell that to those families that I left without a father or a mother, a bother or sister. Tell them that it wasn't my fault... that I am nothing but a monster in their eyes." Ryuu didn't bother to look up. He didn't even know that it was Daiki who said those words. He thought it was his conscience. He didn't feel safe around anyone. He wasn't normal, he couldn't be. Even the slightest trigger will make him lose it and become that monster.

He wasn't sure why Daiki didn't leave him to struggle on his own. He was sure that Daiki would be better off on his own. He looked to the side and saw a letter opener that someone gave them a couple of weeks ago. Ryuu's started to analyze it. 'its not sharp enough but with enough force I can pierce my heart... it will be enough.'

He looked up into the sky, he was slowly blocking everything out. It was similar to an episode but this time.... this time the victim was himself. Someone who did deserve to die. He wasn't normal, wasn't someone who could be with others. He was a monster that was trained to kill, to be the perfect killer but he failed at that too.

He stood up and took the letter opener that was on the other side of the room. He looked at it thoroughly. He let out a small smile before pointed the dull object at his chest. He wasn't afraid of death, it was something he deserved. He didn't want to be a burden to Daiki anymore. The pain in his heart was stronger than his will to live.

[DAIKI KUSANAGI]

[atrb=width,500px,true][atrb=border,0,false][STYLE=border: solid 1px #000; background-color: #ccc;][classy=trololol][/classy][classy=gopercygo][/classy][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #333; margin-top: 5px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]i feel it deep[/style][STYLE=font-size: 9px; font-family: couriernew; color:#333; float: left; margin-left: 7px; margin-top: -7px; width: 140px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 2px;]it's just beneath the skin i must confess i feel like a monster i hate what i've become the nightmare's just begun[/style][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #ff0000; margin-top: -10px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]within[/style][STYLE=margin-top: 50px; width:450; height: 150px; background-color: #999; margin-left: 20px; margin-bottom: 5px; overflow: auto;][STYLE=padding: 3px 3px; font-size: 13px; color: #333; text-align: justify;]It might have just been one of Ryuu's episodes but Daiki hated hearing this. Stinging pain born of the memories surfaced each time. The boy tried to get his brother to understand. However each time he tried the older male dragged himself down further. "..Ryuu stop it! It's not..you didn't want to. You are not a monster." Tears pricked at the back of his eyes threatening to spill over. But he wouldn't do that. Weakness was not something he wanted to show to his brother. Daiki wasn't able to get Ryuu to look at him. Maybe going to work had been a bad idea even if they did need the money. Tugging on Ryuu's arm he tried to snap him out of it. Get the male to listen to what he was saying right now. His eyes followed his older brother's to see what he was looking at. Why? He needed to figure something out to stop him. The brown eyes were still filled with tears that kept threatening to spill over. Standing up quickly he looked to his brother and wondering what he was doing. "stop it!" His voice shook as he spoke running towards his brother and grabbing onto the letter opener. Feeling the cold from the letter opener sent a shiver up his spine. But he didn't care right now. He had to think of other things and saving his brother was high on that list. "Stop it. just drop it Ryuu...please. Don't listen to those thoughts...it's not true." Why he always tried to hold back was to save his brother. The only one he had left who meant so much to him. When things like this happened he felt useless. It should have been him but Ryuu took his place to make sure he lived and didn't have to become a monster. Not that it made Ryuu one. No he saved his life and brought them both here together.[/style][/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: newtimesroman; letter-spacing: 5px; margin-top: -2px;]template by fetch of btn[/style]

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[RYUU KUSANAGI]

Ryuu did not move from his spot and the weapon in his hands. He felt something stop his hands from plunging the letter opener into his heart but he couldn't hear anything. All that he could see that the glimmering metal in his hands. The touch that was coming from somewhere was so warm. Something that he didn't deserve in his opinion.

"I'm so tired... of worrying Daiki." Ryuu continued, though is eyes were dull and almost dark. "When I hear him crying when he's asleep I know its because of me. I'm placing everything on him. Its not fair to him that he is the only one who suffers."

Ryuu held the letter opener tight in his hands, as if letting go would mean the end of his existence. All those nights that he could hear Daiki crying, calling out to him. It hurt him, it hurt that Daiki is always trying to hard for the both of them. It was something that it made him feel like he was nothing but a burden. "I am useless to him, nothing but a broken toy. One that did nothing for the other. A useless burden for Daiki to bear. But if this works then he will be free from that burden."

A sad smile appeared on his face. It was the first in an episode. It was a smile of acceptance. One that once the knife pierces his heart he will enter hell, where he truly belongs, at least that is what his inner mind is telling him.

[DAIKI KUSANAGI]

[atrb=width,500px,true][atrb=border,0,false][STYLE=border: solid 1px #000; background-color: #ccc;][classy=trololol][/classy][classy=gopercygo][/classy][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #333; margin-top: 5px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]i feel it deep[/style][STYLE=font-size: 9px; font-family: couriernew; color:#333; float: left; margin-left: 7px; margin-top: -7px; width: 140px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 2px;]it's just beneath the skin i must confess i feel like a monster i hate what i've become the nightmare's just begun[/style][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #ff0000; margin-top: -10px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]within[/style][STYLE=margin-top: 50px; width:450; height: 150px; background-color: #999; margin-left: 20px; margin-bottom: 5px; overflow: auto;][STYLE=padding: 3px 3px; font-size: 13px; color: #333; text-align: justify;]There was no thought in what just happened. The boy held tight to the letter opening as he tried to pull it away from Ryuu. He secretly blamed himself for not putting it up somewhere his brother couldn't find it. Before he had rushed off to work it had been a thought but he didn't do it. Maybe because he thought it would be alright and nothing would happen. 'Stop it just stop it!' All the flashbacks slipped back into his mind suddenly. Why did this have to happen? It made him feel bad because he couldn't protect Ryuu. Daiki was always so exhausted trying to keep his brother safe and the two of them living the best they could. Silence as he listened to what Ryuu was saying. Why did he think those things. Daiki felt each word tug at his heart, why did he feel that this was his fault. He had saved Ryuu before and it only hurt him. The young boy didn't think that anyone had heard him. After all most times he wasn't even aware of it being exhausted at the time. When he got home late he just passed out on the couch or in his bed. He could remember one Saturday he just passed out by the door. Which ended in him getting sick and not being able to go back for awhile. It was not always easy for them to live the way they did. 'He heard me...he wasn't supposed to.' This meant he had to be careful even to the point of locking emotions away. The stress sometimes could eat him alive if he wasn't careful. But for his brother he would do anything he could. "..It's not like that! You are my brother not some broken toy." Though he knew Ryuu would probably still ignore him. In this state there was nothing he could do. 'Don't leave me...' The thought appeared in his mind and he tried to quickly shove it away. Why did he need to think like this? The smile..it scared him. How could he smile like that when he was trying to end his life. Daiki held tight to the metal not even caring if it cut into his hand. A small growl escaped his mouth as he shoved his weight into Ryuu to knock him down. Or at least try to. Daiki didn't have a lot of strength but he really tried "Idiot. I don't care about that! I'd rather have you here then be alone." The tears dripped down his cheeks as he tried to hold his brother down. Pulling the weapon away from hi he winced it cut his hand a little but he didn't care. "You idiot wake up!" His voice shook as he spoke to his brother, why did this have to happen. He couldn't let him get hurt like that. Daiki might not have made a good killer but he gained a little bit of strength out of it. Enough to handle Ryuu when he had his episodes like this. If only this would work he couldn't help how worried he felt. It was just a standard thing for them as always and he worked with it. But now he couldn't help how he felt or what he wanted to do. "Please...Ryuu." How could he break him out of this right now? Would it even work? Daiki was trying to hold him down by sitting on the older male.[/style][/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: newtimesroman; letter-spacing: 5px; margin-top: -2px;]template by fetch of btn[/style]

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[RYUU KUSANAGI]

Ryuu felt something knock him off his feet. It felt heavy but at the same time it felt warm. He didn't know what it was, he looked around but all he saw was darkness of this empty house. Did he slipped and fell? He wasn't really sure and he wondered why he couldn't slip forward and impale the metal object.

He tried to move his hand but the metal didn't budge as easily as a few seconds ago. Was he hesitating now? That was it was it? After all he wanted to relieve Daiki from the burden of taking care of him. He felt drops of something wet on his hand. yet he couldn't see anything.

"Why am I hesitating?" He asked out loud. "Daiki will be better off without me right?"

Yet with his words he let go of the letter opener, he laid on the floor and looked up at the ceiling. "Maybe another day then...."

He couldn't get away even if he tried could he? He hated it, he hated having Daiki take care of him and he couldn't do anything but comply. Because he was afraid of what he could do to others if he got a job. If he went and interacted with others more that he could handle it. But he had to try, he can't be pushing all the burden to Daiki. "I'm a horrible brother..."

[DAIKI KUSANAGI]

[atrb=width,500px,true][atrb=border,0,false][STYLE=border: solid 1px #000; background-color: #ccc;][classy=trololol][/classy][classy=gopercygo][/classy][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #333; margin-top: 5px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]i feel it deep[/style][STYLE=font-size: 9px; font-family: couriernew; color:#333; float: left; margin-left: 7px; margin-top: -7px; width: 140px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 2px;]it's just beneath the skin i must confess i feel like a monster i hate what i've become the nightmare's just begun[/style][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #ff0000; margin-top: -10px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]within[/style][STYLE=margin-top: 50px; width:450; height: 150px; background-color: #999; margin-left: 20px; margin-bottom: 5px; overflow: auto;][STYLE=padding: 3px 3px; font-size: 13px; color: #333; text-align: justify;]He refused to get up off of his brother right now. Not till he knew that his brother would be alright. Did Ryuu even have a clue who knocked him off of his feet? The male wasn't sure to begin with what had happened anyway. Tightening his grip around the weapon not about to let him keep holding it. Daiki could only hope things didn't get any worse or something else didn't happen. Really the boy wanted to make sure his brother would be alright with them around. "Please don't brother...I can't lose you." Again the boy's voice shook as he tried to force out his words. If he truly let his brother's little issues get the better of him then they wouldn't get anywhere. Crimson blood dripped down his hand onto the other male as he tried to wipe it up quickly. It had been one of those moments where he couldn't suddenly let Ryuu see that. Knowing the male would probably blame himself. Tightening his grip on the piece of metal he glared at his brother. The look on his face held concern and a slightly gentle touch to it. As he spoke again the words were spoken quickly. "I would not you idiot! I can't live without you.." Daiki couldn't help the tears that fell he wanted to hold them back so much. Make it to where nobody could hurt him or either of them again. But the same moment Ryuu was all he had left if he died then there would be nothing left. So many emotions wanted to break through his shield but he couldn't let it happen. Why did these sort of things have to be caused by them? Really it only could get worse from here he was sure of that. Daiki had to work quickly to make sure he could protect Ryuu again. 'I said I would protect you...please let me do that brother. After all you did it for me all those months..' Unwanted memories flowed through the brunette boy's mind. Why now of all times did this sort of thing come back to him? The boy knew it would cause nightmares later for both of them. At least he hoped it would really only be him not anyone else. Ryuu truly needed a break right about now. Other then getting the nightmares to drag him down again. A break would have done them both some good but it didn't always work that way. Being a burden to him was not part of the subject here. For the most part he didn't need to think about it Ryuu was no burden to him. However Daiki's tears probably didn't matter when his brother was in a state like this. It had happened so many times after all. "Brother just wake up." His hand reached up to lightly touch his brother's cheek as he sighed. Why did this really have to happen to him? Nothing would let him escape neither of them could. "Brother please let's just go eat." He kept trying to break through his brother's mental break. This little episode seemed to be harder to get through then the others. Would he have to hit him even if he didn't want to? Maybe the training to make sure Ryuu could handle other people would begin tomorrow. Could he find Ryuu a job? A place he could keep an eye on the boy and make sure nothing bad happened.[/style][/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: newtimesroman; letter-spacing: 5px; margin-top: -2px;]template by fetch of btn[/style]

[newclass=trololol]height: 100px; width: 100px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; -moz-border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; background-image: url(http://s5.tinypic.com/4to781_th.jpg); margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; border: solid 3px #333; float: left;[/newclass][newclass=gopercygo]height: 100px; width: 100px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; -moz-border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; background-image: url(http://s5.tinypic.com/4to781_th.jpg); margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; border: solid 3px #333; float: left;[/newclass]

[RYUU KUSANAGI]

"Brother just wake up."

Ryuu closed his eyes and felt Daiki on him. Trying so hard to snap him out of it. He just couldn't keep hurting the other, it wasn't in him to do so. Yet the thought of death seem so inviting, he would only keep that though when he completely shatters. He looked at Daiki and gave him a sad smile. "What's the matter Daiki, why are you crying.?"

This time he would fake ignorance. There were times that he truly didn't remember what he did but this time was one of them. He remember everything his mind said and everything he did say. He looked at the bleeding hand and stood up with his brother in tow. "I had another one didn't I?"

"Brother please let's just go eat."

Ryuu nodded because that is all he could do. There was nothing else he could do to stay afloat in this world. He had to go along the tide and let it sweep him into wherever it would take him. As he sat down by the table a though came to his mind, not a pure one. There as one way to ease the burden. "I was thinking Daiki... maybe I should get a job. I have all my skills from back then.... maybe I can be a hitman for hire. I could do it." Ryuu had to stop his shoulders from shaking so that he wouldn't bother Daiki. "I can get as much money as we need.... its only one life per large amount of money."

Maybe if he could take the burden from Daiki then he wouldn't mind becoming the monster that he truly is.

[DAIKI KUSANAGI]

[atrb=width,500px,true][atrb=border,0,false][STYLE=border: solid 1px #000; background-color: #ccc;][classy=trololol][/classy][classy=gopercygo][/classy][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #333; margin-top: 5px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]i feel it deep[/style][STYLE=font-size: 9px; font-family: couriernew; color:#333; float: left; margin-left: 7px; margin-top: -7px; width: 140px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 2px;]it's just beneath the skin i must confess i feel like a monster i hate what i've become the nightmare's just begun[/style][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #ff0000; margin-top: -10px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]within[/style][STYLE=margin-top: 50px; width:450; height: 150px; background-color: #999; margin-left: 20px; margin-bottom: 5px; overflow: auto;][STYLE=padding: 3px 3px; font-size: 13px; color: #333; text-align: justify;]The boy held tight to the hope that they would be alright. Little Daiki and Ryuu together only even if they didn't look the same. His brunette hair didn't match Ryuu's black color or even the style but he stopped worrying about that. Silence flowed into the room as he glanced at the male beneath him. It seemed that his older brother finally managed to wake up. "..I'm just worried about you. It's okay now..." He held tight to his brother giving him a very strong hug for a little boy. Whatever worked to hide how worried the little boy felt right about now. How could those people even end up hurting his brother when they were far away from that? Shaking his head he just wiped the tears away as he tried to calm down. The weak feeling in his knees were so hard to ignore, or at least stop from happening. All that mattered to him was taking care of his older brother. Reaching up to touch his brother's cheek he just smiled again. "It's alright. You are okay now. We both are." His hand hurt, and with each movement it sent pain up his arms. When his brother suddenly stood up he didn't fight anything, but he could only hope he wasn't blaming himself. 'This isn't your fault.' The thoughts would have broken the silence if he spoke. But no he didn't because the boy didn't know what to say. His brown eyes scanned over the surroundings he would hide the other things later. Right now the boy was happy his brother had regained control. His brother only seemed to nod which sent worry through Daiki's body again. Moving quickly through the kitchen pulling plates and cups down as he set them on the table. Even to the point of climbing onto the counter next to sink to get something. His voice shook as he spoke without looking at his brother. "You want to get a job? Maybe something else...I'm sure there is a job you can do. Let's look tomorrow k?" Really the boy would rather have him focus on school but he understood. Let the other male find something to distract them, so they don't feel like a burden. All those things he said were still flowing through Daiki's mind like a soundless movie. How could he say those things? But it had only been a small episode right...or one of the really bad ones. Right now he didn't want to make sense of it either way. "I don't want you to kill people just to support us." His words were blunt and held concern. Maybe it seemed a little harsh but Daiki didn't want his brother to lose anymore of his sanity by doing that. He would do whatever it took to prevent him from having to fall to that.[/style][/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: newtimesroman; letter-spacing: 5px; margin-top: -2px;]template by fetch of btn[/style]

[newclass=trololol]height: 100px; width: 100px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; -moz-border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; background-image: url(http://s5.tinypic.com/4to781_th.jpg); margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; border: solid 3px #333; float: left;[/newclass][newclass=gopercygo]height: 100px; width: 100px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; -moz-border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; background-image: url(http://s5.tinypic.com/4to781_th.jpg); margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; border: solid 3px #333; float: left;[/newclass]

[RYUU KUSANAGI]

"You want to get a job? Maybe something else...I'm sure there is a job you can do. Let's look tomorrow k?"

Ryuu smiled at his brother's words but it wouldn't be enough to take care of them both. It would never be enough, this house wouldn't be able to pay itself with such low paying job. Yet his fears are strong and still has a grip on him. "Sure Daiki, we'll see tomorrow what job I can find."

"I don't want you to kill people just to support us."

"I know, don't worry I won't kill anyone anymore." Lies, he was doing it again. He was lying to his brother once again. He wasn't going to stop thinking of this. It should be responsibility to protect and take care of Daiki not the other way around. He won't give up yet, even if his heart and soul shatters into pieces. He will make sure that Daiki will be taken care of. "I'll cook dinner, you must be tired."

So he will do it behind his back. Sometime when he is asleep. After all there is always someone who is willing to pay top Yen to terminate someone. This is what he was trained to do, this is what he is.... a weapon for others to use. Though as much as it hurts as long as he does it for Daiki, for the other to have a chance of a normal life then he doesn't care.

Tears started to run down his cheeks as he started to cut up the vegetables and throwing them into a pot. He couldn't stop them, but he was careful not to get tears on the food. He took a deep breath and continued cooking. "Just relax in the living room, I'll be done in not time."

Ryuu wondered how much time he had until this peaceful life ended. Either by his hand or by others. However whoever tries to hurt Daiki, they will wish they were never born. As such, tonight he would sneak out and go to the only place where he can get what he needs to offer his services. Deep in the heart of Shinjuku.

[DAIKI KUSANAGI]

[atrb=width,500px,true][atrb=border,0,false][STYLE=border: solid 1px #000; background-color: #ccc;][classy=trololol][/classy][classy=gopercygo][/classy][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #333; margin-top: 5px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]i feel it deep[/style][STYLE=font-size: 9px; font-family: couriernew; color:#333; float: left; margin-left: 7px; margin-top: -7px; width: 140px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 2px;]it's just beneath the skin i must confess i feel like a monster i hate what i've become the nightmare's just begun[/style][STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 5px; font-size: 30px; font-family: georgia; color: #ff0000; margin-top: -10px; font-style: bold; text-transform: uppercase;]within[/style][STYLE=margin-top: 50px; width:450; height: 150px; background-color: #999; margin-left: 20px; margin-bottom: 5px; overflow: auto;][STYLE=padding: 3px 3px; font-size: 13px; color: #333; text-align: justify;]The boy could only sigh he didn't know what to say. Ryuu only wanted to protect Daiki just as he wanted to do the same for the other. Really they were the only family either one of them had. And the brunette would never lose his brother and best friend even if he had to give up his life. Whatever would prevent something truly bad from happening to Ryuu. The boy sighed as his eyes drifted over to his brother. What was he really thinking? Even when he said one thing half the times it meant another. Daiki smiled back at his brother thinking about dinner, he had already picked up what they needed. Now all he had to do was make it before it got any later. Both of the boys needed to sleep for school the next day. Though the boy knew he still had to finish his homework, what little was left of. Feeling too tired he just glared at the book bag. "If you say so. I can at least trust you." Most of the boy's trust had always been given to his brother. If it had been broken then he would probably just shut himself away. Not even caring what people really thought of him at that point. It had always been the way he worked most of the time lately. Daiki only blinked and slipped over to the chair to sit down. Resting his head on the table he sighed lightly. It couldn't be anymore obvious that he was exhausted, the clouded look in his brown eyes spoke of it. "Work was just...stressful." Never had the boy actually spoke what his work was. Truly he would be happy with a better job. One that he could work better with and didn't always come home exhausted. He couldn't help looking up at his brother and wondering again why he felt something was off. Did the male have a secret? Then again they all did and Daiki was also no better. A light sigh escaped the boy's mouth as he got up to walk towards the couch. Only pausing before he looked back to his brother. " Are you really okay? You know from before." He asked that more then once but he always managed to just get the same response. "Sure...just please finish up soon brother." The boy settled on the couch pulling the thin blanket over his body. He really couldn't suppress the shiver running through his body. Why did he suddenly feel so cold? Almost as if none of this made sense to him. Or was it even supposed to the boy just didn't know. How much longer could they keep secrets from each other? True it was probably the last thing they wanted to do but both boys had been doing it for so long. Even now it would just be hard to stop.[/style][/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: newtimesroman; letter-spacing: 5px; margin-top: -2px;]template by fetch of btn[/style]

[newclass=trololol]height: 100px; width: 100px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; -moz-border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; background-image: url(http://s5.tinypic.com/4to781_th.jpg); margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; border: solid 3px #333; float: left;[/newclass][newclass=gopercygo]height: 100px; width: 100px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; -moz-border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px; background-image: url(http://s5.tinypic.com/4to781_th.jpg); margin-top: 5px; margin-left: 5px; border: solid 3px #333; float: left;[/newclass]